Silence is another simple, but very useful tool for creating mental space – at an individual or group level – conducive to a number of ends. In most social situations silence is uncommon and uncomfortable. We are usually much happier talking about inanities than just saying nothing. But silence, for its brute simplicity, is effective in getting us out of those everyday roles we play for others, in slowing down the actions and reactions in our minds, in getting us closer to the bedrock of our true thoughts and genuine values. Daily interaction – be it at work, at a meeting, having coffee with someone – can be likened to a pool that is constantly having rocks thrown in. The ripples and waves on the surface make it difficult, if not impossible, to see what’s at the bottom. Once we stop throwing in rocks, our view is much improved.

Community builders need to have highly refined dialog skills. Among these is the ability to ask open questions. "An open question is one that expands rather than restricts your arena of exploration, one that does not push or even nudge you toward a particular way of framing a situation. (Palmer 2004: 132)" It is a questions that allows the speaker the freedom to speak from their deepest, truest self. This makes conversations more powerful and builds trust between community members. Moreover it helps the community builder lessen the emphasis on their own self (history, opinions, ideas) in order to pay full attention to the future and potential that is hidden in the community they are serving.